Alive

Write a short creative or critical piece that is inspired by any of the works that we have looked at this week.

The free verse poem I have written for this weeks post is inspired by the emotions explored in John Shaw Neilson’s poem “The Orange Tree.” In this poem, the perspectives and meaning of the tree to a young girl and an older man are explored and shown in very different ways. The theme of differing perspectives is what influenced my poem as it describes an experience that has very different emotions attached to it for each individual.

Alive

Can’t move. Can’t breathe. Can’t think.
The sweat pours down my back
Joining with the sweat of others;
A shower of emotions emitted.
Every person glued into a makeshift community
Together and yet,
Some cry, some laugh, some scream.

My heart beats, my head hurts
I stumble but can’t fall,
It’s too tight, my body aches,
My head spins and my muscles defy me
The air my lungs can find is not enough but
I scream my throat raw for no one to hear
and the tears fall- the jewels of my very soul.

And yet
Every second is beautiful,
Every second I capture in my mind,
Every second I feel
Alive.

 

image

The classic image portraying different perspectives- a rabbit or a duck? http://www.today.com/pets/rabbit-or-duck-124-year-old-drawing-has-both-if-t73606

4 thoughts on “Alive

  1. briannamwblog says:

    Hi Tamara!
    I really enjoyed this free verse poem. I had to actually read it a few times until I finally understood the grasp of it. I think it is really interesting how you have worded this. The contrast between the pain in the first 2 stanzas and the beauty in the last stanza really brings life – no pun intended – to this poem. I love the way you emphasise words such as “Alive” by placing it alone on the final line. It really gives it that extra push of feeling. Also in the first line, “Can’t move. Can’t breathe. Can’t think.” It again gives this more power, and already makes me as a reader ask myself, ‘why can’t you do any of these things?’ Also, I enjoyed the words used to make the connection to the tree by saying, ‘glued’ and ‘stumble but can’t fall’.
    Overall, I really enjoyed this free verse, it was a wonderful read. 🙂

    Like

  2. michaelgriffith1 says:

    That is a wonderful poem Tamara! Let’s see more from this creative source! This works really well and expresses powerfully the depth of your experience. Well done!
    MG
    *Please attend to editing your work carefully. Here is what I have picked up:
    *this weeks post= this week’s post [‘s or s’ – Apostrophe- if there is a meaning of ownership ( the boy’s apple/ the boys’ apples) then you need an apostrophe. See http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/621/01/. But don’t use apostrophe s for normal plurals!!!]

    Like

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